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12 Step for Normies   by Nancyjo

Rehab for Normies

At one of the AA meetings I attended, I heard for the first time the term " Normies" which refers to people who are not addicts or alcoholics. People who attend AA in the "rooms" of anonymity don't often include those who are not burdened with the diseases of addiction. Normies are in many instances not welcome in some of the "rooms"... as alcoholics are always concerned about anonymity as well as they're sure "Normies" don't get it.

Normies are just as sick as those who abuse substances and find their lives are just as unmanageable due to addictive behaviors. The difference is only that Normies are addicted to different things.

For me I have a huge weakness for coke and cheetos. That may sound understated when compared to gambling or sex addictions but the way my brain works it is just the same. I have got to have a coke first thing in the morning and when I am stressed, I want cheetos to go with the coke. I also know when I have had too much and I will say " oh, I have got to give this up" And with the best of intentions, I will make a new commitment to stop. But just as I am talking myself out of the coke, I am heading to the fridge to pour a glass of cola and dig into the bag of cheetos... thinking maybe tomorrow I will quit. And sure enough, I feel great sipping and chippin' - my pleasure center completely satisfied for bit.

These addictions are often called process addictions. Engaging in these behaviors also release chemicals in the pleasure centers of the brain that re-enforces the addictive behaviors. http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-process-addiction.htm

and be assured I do have other compulsive behaviors other than cheetos and coke that I have worked long and hard to overcome because they made my life unmanageable and I was powerless over those addictions

Normies all over the world live a "liar, liar, pants on fire life. They are self-deceived and it is destroying them. The demons are disguised as :

Soda pop

Eating or not eating

Chocolate

Tattoos

Shopping

Hoarding

Coffee

Cigarettes

Porn

Gambling

Work

Beating their wives or children

Risk taking

Extreme sports

TV

Stealing

Lying

And many more addictions could find their way onto this list

Normies however, (IMHO) are in greater denial about the need to change their lives than addicts. Sometimes their addictions will kill them but rarely is the connection made that there was an underlying addiction.

Thus, the inspiration

Rehab for Normies - Help yourself to life

Lets take a good look at the 12 steps that have become the backbone of every recovery program in the world for addicts and alcoholics and see how we can apply the steps to a Normies life to better affect change.

The big book for AA (Alcoholic Anonymous) includes the 12 steps that serve as the foundation of their program for recovery.

The first step is as follows:

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol- that our lives had become unmanageable.

Lets not worry just yet about the powerless part. We need to see through that cloudy window the chaos an unmanageable life looks like

How do I know my life is unmanageable?

From a spiritual perspective you may recognize that if your behaviors are centered on engaging in a "sin" on a regular basis - you are disconnected from God and your life becomes unmanageable.

If you are not a "spiritual" person, the behavior is still there you just won't call it a sin.

If you are a work-aholic, putting work (excessive hours and attention) before family or God - your behaviors have become addictive and therefore wreckage at home probably awaits you. Work-a holics rarely take responsibility for what is outside of the work. They want to blame others perhaps then even seeking a relationship outside the marriage. This results in more wreckage. It is an addiction you cannot stop. Would it be fair to say your life is unmanageable?

Is work all you can think of? Are you restless in another activity? Do you ignore and neglect other responsibilities so you can work? Has it become your center? Would you justify or rationalize other bad behaviors (lie, cheat, steal) to make your work efforts more successful (I know you will say no - but you will)

An unmanageable life means you are probably disconnected from your spiritual side as well as your emotional life. You sabotage things and maybe even a bit paranoid about what is going on around you and in others lives... so for a workaholic, the gap in their relationships grows.

Are you restless, unfocused, and irritable? Can't deal with your emotions, Can't manage rage and anger?

All addictions have an underlying cause. The addiction is a symptom for what really is wrong in your life.

For a Co-dependent- they are powerless over others - perhaps their addiction is the "control issue" that comes with co-dependence. We can't fix people, we can't control them - that makes me crazy. (See http://www.melodybeattie.com/)

Certainly if you interviewed women who are serving time in prison they would not hesitate to admit their crimes are directly related to addictive behavior and that their lives were unmanageable at the time of commission. And that sadly, their addictions and addictive behaviors kept them from the things in life they loved most, their children.

When your life is unmanageable you are out of balance... consequences are not a

deterrent and rarely serve as a motivator for change.

Now, lets talk about the powerless part.

Normies hate being told they are powerless (control issues again).

Here is the statement re-phrased for a Normie.

I admit I am powerless over ____________.

I admit I am powerless over my anger which causes me beat my wife

I admit I am powerless over gambling

I admit I am powerless to stop viewing porn

I admit I am powerless over my compulsion to lie

You fill in the blanks to fit what your struggle is with.

As soon as you can admit that you DO have a problem and that you need help to overcome it, you will loosen the chains that bind you to that giant iron ball. It will be painful but when we are honest about it we can reclaim our real power and integrity.

We can stop living the lie.

Kill the sacred cow, if you will. Admit you are fat, admit you lie and steal. Admit that you squander money, admit you have an eating disorder. This is not about time management or getting a day planner to help you organize...maybe it is about the 7 habits, your 7 bad habits but with a recovery program for Normies in place, you too will heal. Addictions are not incurable.

Every natural instinct cries out against giving up the control you perceive goes with being powerless. BUT it is critical that you admit you are powerless over the demon that controls you for change to take place.

The admission is allowed to nurture in a spiritual humility that will give you an enduring strength to continue. It helps you recognize that you are defeated and only a submission to a higher power (as well as any good support system) will break the mental obsession you have to continue in your bad behavior, your addiction.

When you accept your devastating weakness and the consequences you will be able to adopt new practices new beliefs and new attitudes.

The key to giving up your "power" is to stop blaming others, stop making excuses, stop being a victim and accept personal responsibility for YOU and how you think and act. It means you must abandon your grudges, your resentments and turning that surrender to your higher power to refocus on a new life.

Normies hit bottom too. Normies ruin their lives too. Normies are held in bondage by their sins, crimes, process addictions, Normies loose everything and are frankly just as sick as any substance abuser.

Embrace step one by asking yourself a few questions:

■Why do you think your life is unmanageable?

■What does your self-image look like? Can you name 5 things you like about you?

■Can you name 5 things that others like about you?

■What activity to do you do now to cope or deal with stress?

■What are you willing to give up to find "sober living"?

■Are you willing to learn how to forgive?

■Can you be grateful for all things in your life?

■Are you willing to say you are sorry? Which means you have to stop blaming others.

The 4 pillars of success that will help you with Step 1 are:

I'm sorry: Be willing to say I'm sorry, just to yourself, in your sleep, while you drive. This is surrender, an admission that you need to be responsible for your thoughts and actions. Your part in each moment of the day.

I'm grateful: Be grateful for every single thing in your life. All things. Accept that all things are for your best good and be grateful for all of it...the good and the bad.

I forgive you - I forgive me: Learn about forgiveness, forgive with being asked, forgive without expectation, and forgive yourself for all your m mistakes and weakness'. Ask God to forgive you as you forgive others. This is the most powerful character trait to develop.

I love you: Say this in your mind no matter who you are talking to, interacting with... Tell it to your higher power, to those most difficult to deal with. Say it in your mind as you think about those you resent most... those resentments will leave you.

Our experiences mold us and shape us. If we are open to overcoming and change, we can look beyond the resentments to see how these things benefit us and we move on to serve others. That s the positive power found in the cleaning offered by the 4 pillars above.

For those who have drug addicts and alcoholics in their lives will find engaging in these steps will connect you with an understanding of your loved ones suffering not as an enabler or a co dependent but as a "sober living" companion, parent, sibling or friend.

The first habit of highly effective people is " Seek first to understand". Work the First Step just as you would want your loved one to work their steps in a recovery program.

Be the most empowered Normie you can be and change the world for the better one recovery at a time.

Watch for Step 2 coming up next.

Nancyjo

www.highperformanceproject.wordpress.com

www.wcgcreative.com

About the Author

Author has spent 20 years owning her own consulting business, speaker, author of 5 books, business coach, LSAC certification. Nancyjo has a passion for self improvement and high performance. visit http://www.wcgcreative.com